I have a child in my care that is really defiant and violent at times. She is WIDE OPEN at all times and will not listen to rules. She has had a rough life in the past...but I thought that she has had enough time to get past that. She has been in my home for about a year now. She is only 3 years old...so these outburst are really difficult and I don't know how to handle them. I know she needs love and understanding, but she also cannot get away with acting the way she does. I'm on the verge of almost thinking that I can no longer do this to myself or my other family members. We had a REALLY bad episode yesterday evening. I have been looking online this morning at child anger and I keep coming across ADHD. Could this be her problem? Does anyone here have any experience with ADHD? Should I get her tested before I make any rash decisions? Where could she be tested for this? Any help is greatly appreciated.

Please by all means, have her tested before making any decisions. Check with her doctor, they can tell you what you where you need to go. This could very well be the problem with her behavior. I have a friend with a small son that has this and it can be controlled with medication. Give her a chance, get her checked.

First lat me sy I'm no child expert by any means but as father of 3 and 1 year old boys I'm what you might call experienced.

Two things about your story stuck out to me after reading it. One is your a very loving and caring person to bring a young child into your home and family, I commend you for that. Secondly you say the child is three now and you have had this child for about a year. That gave the child about a year and a half to have a rough life. Depending on the situation I would believe the child has had enough time in a loving enviroment to get over the rough period.

ADHD could be the problem but only proper diagnosis will determin that. A couple we are friends with have a child who showed similar symptons as yours and after a visit to the childs doctor to discuss the problem and a few test and that doctor telling them to see a specialist. The child was said to have a mild case of autism and was given meds to help the problems.

After only a short time onthe meds the childs behavior has improved greatly and the stress level in the house has eased as well. Hope this helps and God bless you and your family for what you are doing for this child.

Thank you Wrkn and cjtl for your advise. We really love this little girl and were looking into adoption when that became avail. but now we are on the fence. We have tried and tried...but don't know how much more we can go through without it tearing our family apart. We have a biological kid that it is really affecting. I will give the dr a call to see if they are capable of doing anything or if they could send us somewhere else. We want this to work....just without all the 'extra' stress. We realize the stress that comes with a normal child...and we are fine with that. cjtl...funny that you mentioned autism, b/c it has been mentioned to me in the past. Only b/c she seems to feel no pain. She can fall and have both knees split wide open and never even realize it. I've heard that this is a symptom as well. I will check on both of these. I'll keep you guys informed. Thanks again!

I would encourage you to look at environmental factors, including food and drink. Here is a good website that has helped my family immensely. ADHD diet Read the success stories, and be sure to click on the photos to read those stories, too. It is not just for ADHD. It is not hard to implement the "diet," it is certainly much easier to do than deal with the out of control behavior.

One of my sons is very sensitive to scents of any kind--laundry products, plug-ins, febreze, colognes, etc and has rages and just unbelievable behavior because of them. Keeping our house scent-free has helped so much.

God bless you for taking in that child who desperately needs a good home!

When you are checking autism also check asperger's syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. I have a friend with a child with AS and they experienced some of the same "meltdowns" you are. For them it isn't about anger, but, miss-communication and/or sensory integration. Also,there is a pediatric occupational therapy office in Florence, Stepping Stones, who work with these types of issues. They are over on Seville St. They've help my friends alot.

I just called my friends and they recommend a place in Birmingham called Mitchel's Place. They may be able to diagnose if you are unable to find someone in the area - they had a difficult time. I don't usually like to recommend these types of things, but, I know what a struggle my friends had before the diagnoses.

http://www.mitchells-place.com/index.html

Good luck

Yes please keep us informed. And like CJ, I applaud you for taking this child into your home and showing her love.

Her behavior could stem from something in her past. What type of lifestyle was she in BEFORE you got her? Adoption sounds wonderful, she is very lucky to have found a family to show her the love she deserves. Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Okay...I have been on the phone for the past hour or 2. The little girl is already in a school for her behavior...and I called them. Then I also called DHR just to report the episode. The school, (Riverbend), has a dr of their own that DHR is going to try to get us in with. Since she is already attending the school...DHR said it shouldn't be any problem. Just keep your fingers crossed for us and us in your prayers. Please don't let them tell us that this is a typical 3 yr old's behavior....b/c I know there is something more to it.

Thanks you all as well for your advise and the websites to check out. I can't look at them here (at work) but I will tonight. Wrkn...she was abused I think...nothing ever recorded, but she also failed a drug test at the age of 2 yrs old. I'm sure that this may be linked as well but would this cause any conditions such as ADHD or autism? I have a lot to learn yet...

Redbull...did your friends get diagnosed at all here? Or were they just told it was nothing and then they went to B'ham to find the correct diagnosis?

It's been several years and they could not get a diagnoses around here. They had to go elsewhere - Emory, I think. Since then there has been some progress in this area (Stepping Stone). And yes, they were told it was nothing (just bad behavior/willfulness/bad parenting, etc)

quote:

Originally posted by KILINTIME:
Thanks you all as well for your advise and the websites to check out. I can't look at them here (at work) but I will tonight. Wrkn...she was abused I think...nothing ever recorded, but she also failed a drug test at the age of 2 yrs old. I'm sure that this may be linked as well but would this cause any conditions such as ADHD or autism? I have a lot to learn yet...

that is so sad. how can a mother knowing she is carrying an innocent life inside her body pertake harmful drugs/alcohol that will affect that child for the rest of its life? do these women just not give a darn? these kids didnt ask to be created, didnt ask to be born, and sure as heck didnt ask to have a junkie for a mom.

I do know a young girl that has a son with ADHD,(but has other problems as well because of his mom) she used drugs the entire pregnancy. and now her child suffers everyday of his life. He goes through withdrawals, throws temper tantrum, and will be on medication for the rest of his life.

I will continue to pray for this little girl, your family and that the doctors can find a cure for her.

Wrkn...that's exactly the way I feel about moms like this. But the bad thing is that she probably would've tested positive when she was born...but there was no test done then. However when she was 2...a hair follicle test was done on her and she tested positive for METH. I ask and it wasn't from just being around it...she had to have actually ingested it or been around a lab. And to top it all off...no charges have ever been filed against them!

Redbull...that's exactly what I'm afraid they are going to tell me!

Im sorry you are having to deal with this , thank God this precious little girl has you in her life.