Sex in the Elderly

A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer is sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence."
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no
trouble. So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes. Both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing. He thinks, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!"

Bet you can't answer this one!


What gets longer when pulled,

Fits between your boobs,

Inserts neatly in a hole,

And works best when jerked?



scroll down to find the answer.....



A SEAT BELT, you pervert!!!
Now BUCKLE up!!!!!!

A nurse in a local nursing home is training a newbie:

"Right after dinner, be sure to give all the male patients their hot chocolate and Viagra."

"OK, I think I understand the hot chocolate", says the new nurse. "However, why the Viagra?"

"The hot chocolate, as you have properly figured out," says the older nurse, "is to help them sleep. The Viagra insures they don't roll off the bed."

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha,